


Untitled

by orphan_account



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, this is bad im sorry, this is for my lovely tong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 03:36:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10654092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "I know it's too late, but I'm sorry. I will live for you."





	Untitled

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tong ♡](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=tong+%E2%99%A1).



> this is for my lovely tong! ♡ im so sorry that this is lateeee like super late. i hope u dont mind ehe alSO I WILL DO A BETTER ONE FOR U SOON WAIT FOR IT ♡

_I'm missing you._

It was nearly 1 a.m. in the morning, but he couldn't ever close his eyes without seeing _him,_ and he just wanted to cry. He missed _him_ so much, but there was nothing he could do. No one could make the dead come back to life, right? If there was any methods, Jihoon would definitely do it. Even it was wrong, it was deadly wrong to bring the dead back to life, he would do it for _him._ He regretted a lot of things; like not paying attention to the dancer when he was bored, for not getting up early so they could have a little chitchat as they do morning exercise, and he hated himself for that. But the thing that he regretted the most was for not saying those three words, even when Soonyoung was dying.

He couldn't ever forget the moment when the dancer cried in his sleep, when he cried whenever he made small mistakes, when Jihoon glared at him for not eating because his stomach couldn't take anything more other than pills, when he forced himself to get up when he knew he couldn't, and when Jihoon left after they had their first kiss. Jihoon hated himself so much that he wanted to kill himself, but stopped because he promised Soonyoung to live. _Live, Jihoon. Live, for me._ He cried again, and he couldn't stop himself for crying because of his stupidity.

 

_"Was it really hard for you to love him back? Was it really hard that you have mention about your feelings and be selfish when he's dying? Jihoon, Soonyoung is dying." Joshua looked at him in the eyes, and there were tears, tears of sadness and disappointment. "Jihoon, Soonyoung loves you, he loves you a lot, and I know you feel the same way."_

_"I don't love him." He said, packing his bag as he wanted to take a break from everything. From Soonyoung._

_"Jihoon, stop lying to yourself. You love him, you really do."_

_"Joshua, stop telling me that I love him when I don't!" He snapped, his eyes turned red. "I don't fucking love him so please stop saying that. Also, please leave me alone. I want to be alone."_

_"I can't believe you, I can't believe you Lee Jihoon." Joshua's voice cracked as he tried to not cry. "Soonyoung deserves better than this. I can't believe he falls in love with an asshole like you. Don't you ever come back again and I don't want to see your face, not near him!" He left Jihoon alone, because that was what he asked right? To be alone._

 

Jihoon woke up from his bed, taking his phone out and dialled Joshua's number before he stopped himself. Joshua, Soonyoung's best friend. He put his phone down and sighed, he could never have a chance to talk to him. Not after what he said, not after what he did.

He stared down the floor, tears leaking down as he sobbed. He was so stupid, and not he could never talk to Soonyoung again. He was dead. He would never have a chance to say those three words, ever. 

 

_I'm sorry. I'm so sorry._

It has been a week since he got a text from Joshua, telling him about Soonyoung death. He got a handwritten letter a day after, it was from Soonyoung. Joshua told him about the funeral, and asked him if he wanted to come as he said he could pick Jihoon up, but the latter didn't reply. He held Soonyoung's last letter in his sleep, he just couldn't let go.

Soonyoung was a bright person. Everyone who met him would call him Sunshine; because he was like the sun. He was the sun in his life, but he was also the one who broke him. Soonyoung always smiled, even when he was stress and sometimes that scared Jihoon.

Jihoon took his phone again and sent a text to Joshua, asking him if he wanted to meet. The latter texted back a few second after he did. 

_Alright, meet me at the usual cafe._

.

 

_Dear Jihoon,_

_How are you doing? I hope you're doing okay! Don't be stress, okay? Also, don't cry, you look ugly when you cry! Ehehe just kidding! You will always look beautiful, Jihoon. Always beautiful in my eyes._

_To be honest, I'm very sad that you have a fight with Joshua, but I guess you have your own reason? I'm sorry for everything, Jihoon. Joshua said mean things, right? Just forget about it! He was mad that's why he said those things! Also Jihoon, please talk with him okay?_

_Jihoon, I know I'm not in this world when you read this but can you come to my house? I already asked my mother to put my things in a box, and it's for you. I know this seems too much but I really want you to have those things. And I know you will never love me back, but I don't regret loving you, Jihoon. You're an amazing person, trust me! I will never lie about that. So don't hate yourself, okay? If one day, if you ever think about me, promise me that you will never cry! Crying is no no! Don't ever cry for me, but if you then it's okay! Ehehe you're just human after all. But don't ever hate youself, okay? Also Jihoon, live. Live okay? Don't do anything stupid! Live is precious, and you should never waste it. Live for me, live for yourself, live your life. One day if you ever get married, treat them right. Tell them that you love them because you will never know when someone will be gone. I love you Jihoon, and nothing will ever change the fact that I, Kwon Soonyoung loves you. Not even death. I love you._

_Live okay? Live, for me. I love you._

 

_Love, Soonyoung._

 

.

Jihoon cried himself to sleep that night, regretting everything but there was one thing he would do for Soonyoung, he would live for him. He would live for himself, just like what Soonyoung's last request. 

**Author's Note:**

> skdjxjs this is so bad im sorry otl i just cant think anything else. also, i guess i will do the second version if this??? or maybe like sequel? ?? something like that.


End file.
